There are a few things in life I believe everyone should be able to do and I find it a little disconcerting when I find even young people outsourcing their life with anything from their breakfast, that comes home-delivered to their laundry thats dropped off in the morning and picked up in the evening, to calling the super to replace a light bulb.

I could go on and on but you know what I mean!

Believe me I think its great that I can be more effective at what I do because I can delegate chores and needs that others do better or for less, leaving me more time to do what I like and can do best - but it is a choice, not a necessity.

Most of the things are simple but we have made them into a mystery and some are intent on keeping them mysterious as well as making them accessible so as to maintain their business.

I am sure everyone can add to this list and maybe it depends on where you live, but for what its worth, here are my top ten positions (not in any particular order):

Learn how to create a budget, balance a checkbook and manage your money
Learn how to ride a bicycle
Learn how to find your way home if youre lost in nature (or in the city jungle)
Learn CPR and first aid
Learn how to drive a stick shift
Learn how to iron a shirt, sew on a button and hem a skirt
Learn about cars - change a tire, jumpstart, change your oil or replace a fuse
Learn about electrical work - change a light bulb, replace a switch and a fuse
Learn how to shop and cook meals from scratch for yourself and others
Learn how to give a great massage
Learn basic html and build a simple website

Let me pick massage as an example, because its something I know well. I believe that everyone has the inherent knowledge of how to touch with skill and awareness. We are born with it and when challenged we know how to comfort as well as rub, hold, caress, stroke and rock ourselves and others when there is pain or discomfort. No teacher necessary.

But it seems that over time we reduce this activity to the occurrence of emergencies, acute pain and then extend it only to immediate family, to ourselves or ultimately drop it altogether as we lose the connection to our bodies in a culture that celebrates the visual but denies the physical. This has developed to an extent that touching has become a taboo and is regulated in policies and laws, especially in the workplace. Not that it has not become necessary, since clearly abuse and harassment are prevalent, but at the same time it has added to the message that physical proximity is not ok.

So when I say everyone should learn how to give a great massage I am talking about reviving the ability to relieve pain and provide comfort in way that does not invade a persons personal space. It is a service that is unconditional and does not require the receiver to reciprocate in any way, shape or form.

Being able to give a great massage is about uncovering that inherent skill that resides in every one of us, and reminding our self what it means to be of unconditional service. The strokes and movements applied even during a professional massage are secondary and can be learned with ease once inspired by the deeper understanding of service.

Since no exchange on a personal level is expected, there is no agenda. The fact that a professional massage therapist is paid for their service should not interfere with this balance as the exchange occurs on different levels. The therapist is paid for their time, not for their care. Between friends and family giving a massage to sooth, relieve pain, to comfort or balance does not include any expectation to receive any favor in exchange. It is just a pure giving.

When massage is given with no expectations including an outcome of any kind, there is no agenda Since there is no agenda, the one who gives can be completely present in the moment and need not strategize or project ones own beliefs onto the other. This in itself is the core of all healing.

The basic necessary massage techniques (the strokes) can be learned in under 100 hours of classroom time. Achieving the necessary underlying state of mind and heart is not always facilitated, as this is something that cannot be learned but rather needs to be understood. And of course to comply with governing law, there are other subjects that need to be studied before licensing can occur and the student may practice on the general public.

But for me the most important element of this process is uncovering and understanding the principles of being in the moment with no agenda and letting a deeper insight guide the process.

Massage as basic life skill inspires the way we deal with other people and inspires us to be present in our day-to-day lives. And essential element of leading a rewarding life.

Nicolay Kreidler is a licensed massage therapist and massage instructor at Touching from the Heart and a facilitator at Spa College. He is an active consultant to the spa industry and author of the book "The Successful Massage Therapist" now available as ebook through Spa Pros.

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